See the Latest Movies with Ultimate Coziness

We went to see Monument Men this evening.  I really wanted to see it because my friend Mary and I had read Stealing the Mystic Lamb: The True Story of the World’s Most Coveted Masterpiece by Noah Charney last year at the Cleveland Museum of Art Art and Literature book club.  It was a fascinating book, as were some of the materials in the CMA library, including a voluminous list of art pieces that Hitler instructed his people to find.

But that is not what this blog is about.  It is about the renovations made to the theater and how difficult and humorous it was for two old retired dinosaurs to master the new stuff.

The add in the newspaper for the Westwood Town Center theater read: “Now you can see the latest movies with ultimate coziness.”  We know now that meant, “Dottie and Ralph, go to the Regal Cinema at Crocker Park.

The lobby and refreshment area had a totally different configuration.  Right by the door was a desk with a perky young lady sitting behind a computer.  I asked the ticket taker what that was about.  He said it was “Customer Service.”  If I had questions or needed something she was there to help.  Well, other than sell me the winning Power Ball ticket, I couldn’t imagine what she could do for me.

But that was just the beginning.We always buy Goobers for Ralph, small buttered popcorn for me and a Sprite to share.  They had all that although Ralph had to get his own Sprite from a machine around the corner.  While I buttered my popcorn he went to get the Sprite.  When I went around the corner Ralph was standing with his plastic cup in front of a huge multi-step computerized machine and a little five or six year old girl was running to him asking if he needed help.  She and her father walked Ralph through the steps to get his Sprite.  Then we had to get a plastic top for his cup.  I helped him with that and on the third try we finally got the right size.

When we entered the theater we saw that the theater seats had been replaced with large, highly padded  leather upholstered reclining seats.  We were the first people there so we sat down but noticed there was a lot of space between rows.  When more people came in we saw why.  A foot rest came out and the seat back lowed so that a person could nearly lying flat out.  Ralph thought that looked pretty good and began looking for the controls.  But neither of us could find it.  Finally a woman sat next to me and asked how to recline her seat.  I told her we had been trying to figure that out.  She asked someone else and told me there was a round thing on the inside of the arm rest.  I found mine and then showed Ralph where his was and raised his footrest and reclined his seat for him.

Fortunately watching the movie was normal.  It wasn’t 3-D or telepathic or anything we didn’t know how to do.

I didn’t raise my footrest or recline my seat but about halfway through the movie I reached for the Sprite and my leg or some part of my body hit the round device and my footrest popped up and my seat reclined with astonishing speed. I almost got whiplash.

I guess they need the customer service to explain how this new stuff works or to register claims for injuries from improper usage.  I think we will just go to Regal Cinema at Crocker Park next time.