Ralph’s Humor

Ralph became a fall risk and needed help. When I hired a home health care person he was not happy, threatened to call the police because a stranger was in his home. Not good!

I asked a fun actress I knew to stay with him when I had to be away.  He thought she was my friend coming to our house to do needlework.  She was but she reported to be whenI got home.  Her name is Marthan.  She still visits me and we reminisce about Ralph.

Other day she reminded me of this:  I came home and he had locked the door.  She reminded me that I had said “My sweetheart, why did you lock me out?” Without missing a beat he pointed at Marthan and said, “She was afraid so I had to lock the door.”  She and I laughed so hard remembering that day.

He had had a stroke and lost his short term memory but  not his sense of humor.  He always had a one-liner comeback.

Some of you heard me speak of Marthan.  She is a colorful and fun person.  See for yourself.

She was a lovely sweet companion to Ralph, for which I am grateful.

OH NO! A Tree Fell on Our House.

Early in March, 2018, during a windy snow storm late in the evening, I heard a terrible thump.  A tree in our front yard had split and 1/3 of the tree fell, breaking the roof overhang and siding on North side of house off.  Ralph was very ill and for days went to the front door, looking at the damage and asking what happened to our house.

This was my first experience as sole homeowner with a big problem.  With the help of Luigi, the insurance adjuster, and Paul DeSilvestro, owner of the roofing and construction company we had used before, repair work and more was finally completed early in 2019.

New Beginning

Hello. It has been a long time since I wrote. A lot has happened. Ralph has passed. The grandkids have grown up. And my life is moving forward. Watch for posts as I catch up.

Download: Ralph J. Palazzo

I love to read Kate Murphy’s “Download” column in The New York Times.  Today she wrote about an interview with Dale Chihuly.  While reading it I got a great idea.  Here goes:

Reading: Ralph reads the comics every day.  When I asked which was his favorite, he said, “Oh, that old guy” which turned out to be Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Chuck Ayers.  He also is a fan of Sue Grafton’s mystery series.

Listening: “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Gladys Knight and Pips.  For years that was the only CD in his car.  He also loves the music from the film Mamma Mia!

Watching: Bob Barker’s old  show, which is now hosted by a Clevelander Drew Carey, The Price is Right.  He recently added The Big Bang Theory to his favorites.  He watches those two alone.

Following: For this one Dale Chihuly replied, “To be honest, I’m not a tech kind of guy – I still prefer to use a simple flip phone.”  Ralph too, except he doesn’t even want a cell phone.  We are constantly arguing about that.  I don’t want him driving around without a cell phone.  What if he got in an accident or got lost!  But he does follow his girls – Robin, Grace and Claire – on Facebook.

Eating: His favorite restaurant is Frankie’s on Center Ridge in Westlake.  Their Italian Wedding Soup is the best. We go there once or twice a week.  He loves the girls who work there, Nancy, Kandi, Chris and Morgan and they like him.  Frequently when they ask if there is anything else he would like, he replies, “You could go out and wash the windows on my car.”  They never do more than laugh. But maybe we go there so often to wear them down.  Ralph, I don’t think that is ever going to happen.

Collecting: Pez dispensers. He has been collecting them for years.  But not the candies.  He eats them right away. And Native American bear fetishes.  He started that collection when I brought a tiny turquoise bear home from a Lynn Andrews retreat in Chicago in the early 1990s. I thought it was mine but turned out to be his.  Next time you come to visit, ask him to show you his 50-some bears.

Retracting: This was a Chihuly question about his beautiful yellow and white 1958 Ford Fairlane 500 Skyliner. We don’t have a Ford Fairlane.  But that reminded me of one of Ralph’s dreams.  Driving on I-90 in Westlake, you pass a three-story building with lots of windows and a bank of garage doors on the ground floor.  Every time Ralph sees that building he says we should buy it and turn it into our home.  “We could drive our cars into our living room just like Dan Tanna.”

5 Deer Playing and More

On Sunday while making dinner I looked out the kitchen window and saw 5 young deer running through the trees along the back property line two houses down.  They were running toward our back yard.  When they got here they stopped, looked around and started chasing each other and playing.  For about 20 minutes they ran around in circles, chasing each other, jumping over bushes, over fireplace logs stacked in our neighbor’s yard and over imaginary stuff, just running and jumping for the sheer joy of it.  What a beautiful sight.

After they wore themselves out, they wandered off back in the direction they had come from.

Having deer wander through our yards is not unusual, but when they run in circles chasing each other and play in our yards, we have to stop and watch.

There is a planting area about 10 feet from the deck in the back of our house.  A lilac tree and big old pine tree grow in that area.  It is raised and covered with pine needles.  It is big enough for three deer to sleep there and on sunny winter days three will be there all day long.  I think because it is raised it is dry and that the pine needles absorb the heat from the sun. The deer seem to be very happy and cozy lying there.  When people visit us they are always surprised to see the deer so close to the house.

Three deer were lying there yesterday.  One of them got up and walked to the center of our back yard and just stared at me through the kitchen window.  I went about my business puttering in the kitchen and when I looked up again that deer’s head was right outside the kitchen window.

Now that was crazy.

Abbie Whitney

I met Abbie in October 1985 when she and her family came to Cleveland for the wedding of our children, Robin and Jim.  I was dazzled by this fair skinned woman with beautifully coifed blond hair, not straight and hanging in her eyes like mine tends to do.  She was slim, very pretty and beautifully dressed.

She hosted the rehearsal dinner at Jim’s favorite Cleveland restaurant, The 100th Bomb Group restaurant on Brookpark Road.  It was a lovely event with each Whitney introducing themselves and talking about Jim and when and where they met Robin.  Only hitch was that the Whitneys arrived 45 minutes late as those Utahans got lost on their way to the restaurant.

When our children returned from their honeymoon in Greece, Ralph and I and my sister Dee Dee and her husband Ted, headed to the wilds of Utah ski country.  Abbie hosted a lovely reception at the Stein Erikson ski lodge in the mountains above Park City.  She entertained us in her charming home in the Park Meadows development in Park City.  We learned that this athletic women played tennis, golf and was an avid skier. And that she was a talented water color artist.  I have two of her lovely pictures hanging in my home.

That began our partnership as the mothers and grandmothers.  We shared many happy moments watching our children’s family grow, especially 20 years ago when Robin and Jim moved to Park City.  We shared many birthday and Christmas celebrations.  We were in the hospital together for Claire’s birth. For Grace’s graduation from high school.  Shared the Winter Olympics in 2002. Watched Robin and Jim’s family move into their mountain top home and open their colorful office. And this past December 28th I was there when Abbie hosted a lovely bridal shower at her club for her granddaughter, Whitney Tullis.  Her hair was still beautiful while mine was hanging in my eyes.

While we only visited together three or four times a year we became girlfriends.

Abbie passed away yesterday afternoon from an apparent massive heart attack. Ralph and I are going to miss our dear friend.

Bernadette Peters at The Eccles Center

Saw Bernadette Peters last night. What a fantastic show.  She looks wonderful and her voice is so beautiful.  Although, Bernadette, your rendition of Some Enchanted Evening did not exceed the beauty of my lovely daughter, Robin Palazzo Whitney ‘s voice singing  that song on the stage of Fairview Park High School in the late 1970’s.  If you have any doubts, just check with my colleague, Nancy and her husband David, who traveled across Cleveland to see Robin play the female lead in South Pacific.

But, Bernadette, you brought tears to my eyes when you sang one of my favs, Bring in the Clowns. And your closing song, Stella’s Song, dedicated to your own dog and all dogs in need of safe, loving homes, was so sweet and tender.  Thank you for a great performance and a lovely time.

I have to stop now for two reasons.  Robin is going to kill me for posting about her voice and because I lost my readers at The Eccles Center last night and had to borrow Ralph’s bifocals, which aren’t a perfect fit, to do this.

P.S.  Bernadette:  I bought your children’s book, Stella is a Star, and one of your autographed CD’s to help you in your good works with animal rescue.

I commend Teri Orr and everyone involved in the Park City Institute, including my daughter and son-in-law, for working so hard to bring this spectacular show to close the 2013 season.  Can’t wait to see what you do in 2014.

Happy New Year!

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Went to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy Christmas concert this evening.  What a delight to see men in suits and ties making that big band sound.  I loved it.

Robin and Jim took Whitney and Palazzo family members to this event.  Thanks kids for a wonderful evening.

This all male group is celebrating their 20th anniversary since starting at the Derby nightclub in Los Angeles. The group is led by its founder and lead singer, Scotty Morris.  But I can’t decide which I liked best: the cute little guy in the black suit and messenger cap playing the trumpet, Glen “The Kid” Marhevka or the sophisticated man in the gray suit and red printed socks sitting at the grand piano, Joshua Levy.  Well, what the heck.  I will just pick them both.

More Ham

This morning we got a full refund for the undelivered meat.

At 5:45 p.m. today, December 27, the door bell rang.  Boxes from Honey Baked Ham were on the door step and two UPS deliverymen were running down the driveway toward the UPS truck they had left in the road.  Were they in a great hurry or afraid 0f being beaten up in retaliation for the inconvenience. Who knows.

This turn of event has caused even more confusion.

Ralph asked why they delivered it since this morning we had canceled the order and gotten a refund.

We opened the boxes to determine the condition of the meat.  Yes, boxes. We had one 10 pound ham and two turkey breasts at 8 pounds each – three hunks of very cold but thawed meat.  What to do with them?

The directions said that in a refrigerator the ham would thaw in 24 to 48 hours and would remain fresh for 5 to 7 days.  It had been in the delivery truck since December 24, 5 days.  Did it still have a couple days of freshness left?  The thaw/freshness period for the turkey breasts was a little shorter.

Ralph and I and Sammy ate small pieces of the ham.   (On Xmas Eve Sammy got some scraps and droppings of the Feast of 7 Fishes and has now developed a taste for people food. When he realized that we had these boxes of people food he got all aflutter with excitement and smiles until Jim gave him a piece of ham.)  It tasted OK.

But Robin, the voice of caution, decided it was silly to risk becoming ill over questionable meat, even though we have 26 pounds of it.

Ralph agreed with her and admonished each of us to drink Coke as soon as possible because everyone knows Coke will kill anything.

So we stashed the meat, put on our coats and went out to eat.  We ordered coke as our beverages.

Christmas Eve Dinner

That morning we began preparing dinner for 19.  A Honey Baked Ham was being delivered by UPS.  In fact the tracker indicted it was in the truck and on its way.  Jim had paid a premium shipping charge to assure December 24 delivery.  All was well.

I was responsible for a special appetizer so made a run to the grocery for fresh seafood while Robin began making our favorite cheese cake with raspberry sauce and Whitney family pine nut casserole.  I was to make scalloped potatoes and Jim’s sister was bringing a salad.  Grace had already made Christmas cookies. When I got home from the grocery Robin was making a double batch of Porcuines – beef, rice and onions formed into nut sized meatballs cooked in tomato sauce – just because she was hungry for them.

Guests arrived at 4:00 p.m.  Ham still had not been delivered.  We were a little nervous but began our cocktail hours.  Grace acted as bartender and was making her special Apple Pie Ala Mode drink.  We also had the Whitney family traditional Tom and Jerry’s.

Appetizers were artichoke dip and a huge Feast of the 7 Fishes seafood platter consisting of 2 pounds of shrimp, 3 pounds of Alaska King Crab Legs, a pound of scallops, smoked salmon, crab cakes, oysters and lobster tails.  Feast of the 7 fishes was a tradition in my mother-in-laws family but we had never done it.  It was a winner and the guests were eating and drinking when my son-in-law’s brother told me there seemed to be a problem in the kitchen and I better go give them some advice.

Well, the Ham still had not arrived and we couldn’t hold off any longer.  Robin called the guests to the table and opened the meal with a toast, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and telling all the young people in attendance they never had to worry about a flub up.  They could drop the birthday cake on the floor, burn the roast or spill the punch because we had the ultimate flub up – the main course Honey Baked Ham failed to  arrive.

About 11:00 p.m. UPS sent an email saying the ham would be delivered on December 26.  It is now 3:14 p.m. on December 26 and it is still not here.

More family stories are created by flubs than successes and we have been assured this will never be forgotten.  In fact Jim’s sister texted him from her car on the way home that she just the UPS truck on the highway headed in our direction.

We had a wonderful time and in case you are interested, porcupines are a fine substitute for ham.

Wishing all you readers a wonder holiday.