Karen Joy Fowler Wins PEN/Faulkner Prize

Karen Joy Fowler is the winner of the 2014 PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction for her novel “We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves” which was our book club selection for July 2013.  The narrator is Rosemary Cooke, the 22 year old daughter of an Indiana University psychology professor who subjected his family to a psychological experiment when she was young.  The psychological community believed at the time that Chimps could be brought into a human family and raised as family members. When Rosemary was born an infant Chimp was brought into her family to become her twin.  The book describes the huge impact that experiment had on all members of the Cooke family.

Fowler’s book was chosen from more than 430 novels and short story collections published by American authors in 2013.

Universe Speaks

I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself ever since I retired. I guess the universe got sick of it and said, “OK, if you insist on moping around, lets give you something to mope about.”

Last Wednesday, the day Ohioans will remember for its 2-mile truck and car pile up on the Ohio Turnpike, I had my own pile up.  While driving home from Rocky River on Detroit Road (OH Rt 254) for no apparent reason at all – no turning or braking or anything – my car spun out into on-coming traffic with two cars approaching.  I turned the steering wheel and luckily the car responded, went back into the right-hand lane, but jumped the curb and continued sliding sideways into a utility pole.

When the car came to rest wrapped around the pole, the pole was right outside the drivers side window.  If the door could have opened the pole would not have allowed it to open.  The glass in the window was gone but apparently it slid down into the door as there was no broken glass. I was just sitting there behind the wheel uninjured in total silence. No cars stopped and no one came to see if I was OK except for the woman who lived in the house.  She asked if I was OK and then reached in, took my hand and prayed to god, thanking him for sending a guardian angel to protect me. I am not a religious person but it was very sweet and comforting.

I used my cell phone to call Ralph and the Rocky River police and crawled over the console to get out of the car.  I was stiff and sore for a couple days but I swear my worst injury is a strained knee from getting my right leg over the console.

Insurance company confirmed today that my beautiful red Honda Prelude is totaled.

I want to thank all my friends for the messages expressing happiness that I didn’t get injured and condolences for the loss of my much loved car.

 

“I didn’t get dumb. I just retired.”

Several years ago shortly after my husband retired, he said those words to me.   I didn’t know what he was talking about or why he said that.  But now that I have retired myself, I know how he felt.  In one day’s time I become totally irrelevant.  Colleagues at work who claimed they didn’t know what they would do without my  participation figure it out pretty darned fast.  They don’t call with questions.  In fact they don’t call or email at all.

If it was just the work people it would maybe be understandable.  But it is not. It is everyone.

I happen to have a non-work relationship with former work colleagues. At those events they greet me  with words like, “It is nice to see you again” as though I were a dottering old aunt who came uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner.  Then they turn away to continue their conversation.  My input is not relevant.

I had lots of girlfriends.  One group is five women I have known since 5th grade.  We get together several times a year for lunch.  For years they were asking when I was going to retire so we could meet during the week instead of Saturdays.  When I announced my retirement date I expected them to be cheering but they were disappointed.  I think one of them commented that there would be no more stories about or souvenirs from business trips.  Now I am just ho hum. I don’t even have any illnesses to talk about.  How much more irrelevant could I be.

I used to drive myself downtown to work everyday and to most other places I needed to go.  Since I have retired my husband thinks I need to be driven everywhere.  If I say I am going to a store, by the time I come downstairs from putting on lipstick and getting my purse, he has his jacket on and his car keys in his hand, waiting to drive me there. And when I am at the cash register he rushes over to watch me pay.  I guess he thinks I got too dumb to handle my own money.

But the saddest is that my family used to be proud of my accomplishments.  I could hear it in their voices when they spoke to me or about me.  Now I don’t have any accomplishments for them to be proud of. I am the dottering old aunt who came uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner while my family rush about in their important lives. #

A couple months ago I had the opportunity to talk to a more successful blogger than me.  She has 2500 or maybe it was 25,000 readers where I have only 25.  She told me I needed to establish a theme and suggested that anything I thought or felt about retirement would be shared by other retirees.  And if I found a clever, humorous way to write about it, I would get more readers.  Well Stacy, I don’t like retirement and I don’t find anything humorous about it, so this is going to be hard to do.  But next Monday I am starting a Case Western Reserve/Siegal Lifelong Learning course on Satire.  Maybe I can learn how to be more clever and to write in a more humorous way.

 

 

 

See the Latest Movies with Ultimate Coziness

We went to see Monument Men this evening.  I really wanted to see it because my friend Mary and I had read Stealing the Mystic Lamb: The True Story of the World’s Most Coveted Masterpiece by Noah Charney last year at the Cleveland Museum of Art Art and Literature book club.  It was a fascinating book, as were some of the materials in the CMA library, including a voluminous list of art pieces that Hitler instructed his people to find.

But that is not what this blog is about.  It is about the renovations made to the theater and how difficult and humorous it was for two old retired dinosaurs to master the new stuff.

The add in the newspaper for the Westwood Town Center theater read: “Now you can see the latest movies with ultimate coziness.”  We know now that meant, “Dottie and Ralph, go to the Regal Cinema at Crocker Park.

The lobby and refreshment area had a totally different configuration.  Right by the door was a desk with a perky young lady sitting behind a computer.  I asked the ticket taker what that was about.  He said it was “Customer Service.”  If I had questions or needed something she was there to help.  Well, other than sell me the winning Power Ball ticket, I couldn’t imagine what she could do for me.

But that was just the beginning.

Read More»

5 Deer Playing and More

On Sunday while making dinner I looked out the kitchen window and saw 5 young deer running through the trees along the back property line two houses down.  They were running toward our back yard.  When they got here they stopped, looked around and started chasing each other and playing.  For about 20 minutes they ran around in circles, chasing each other, jumping over bushes, over fireplace logs stacked in our neighbor’s yard and over imaginary stuff, just running and jumping for the sheer joy of it.  What a beautiful sight.

After they wore themselves out, they wandered off back in the direction they had come from.

Having deer wander through our yards is not unusual, but when they run in circles chasing each other and play in our yards, we have to stop and watch.

There is a planting area about 10 feet from the deck in the back of our house.  A lilac tree and big old pine tree grow in that area.  It is raised and covered with pine needles.  It is big enough for three deer to sleep there and on sunny winter days three will be there all day long.  I think because it is raised it is dry and that the pine needles absorb the heat from the sun. The deer seem to be very happy and cozy lying there.  When people visit us they are always surprised to see the deer so close to the house.

Three deer were lying there yesterday.  One of them got up and walked to the center of our back yard and just stared at me through the kitchen window.  I went about my business puttering in the kitchen and when I looked up again that deer’s head was right outside the kitchen window.

Now that was crazy.

Abbie Whitney

I met Abbie in October 1985 when she and her family came to Cleveland for the wedding of our children, Robin and Jim.  I was dazzled by this fair skinned woman with beautifully coifed blond hair, not straight and hanging in her eyes like mine tends to do.  She was slim, very pretty and beautifully dressed.

She hosted the rehearsal dinner at Jim’s favorite Cleveland restaurant, The 100th Bomb Group restaurant on Brookpark Road.  It was a lovely event with each Whitney introducing themselves and talking about Jim and when and where they met Robin.  Only hitch was that the Whitneys arrived 45 minutes late as those Utahans got lost on their way to the restaurant.

When our children returned from their honeymoon in Greece, Ralph and I and my sister Dee Dee and her husband Ted, headed to the wilds of Utah ski country.  Abbie hosted a lovely reception at the Stein Erikson ski lodge in the mountains above Park City.  She entertained us in her charming home in the Park Meadows development in Park City.  We learned that this athletic women played tennis, golf and was an avid skier. And that she was a talented water color artist.  I have two of her lovely pictures hanging in my home.

That began our partnership as the mothers and grandmothers.  We shared many happy moments watching our children’s family grow, especially 20 years ago when Robin and Jim moved to Park City.  We shared many birthday and Christmas celebrations.  We were in the hospital together for Claire’s birth. For Grace’s graduation from high school.  Shared the Winter Olympics in 2002. Watched Robin and Jim’s family move into their mountain top home and open their colorful office. And this past December 28th I was there when Abbie hosted a lovely bridal shower at her club for her granddaughter, Whitney Tullis.  Her hair was still beautiful while mine was hanging in my eyes.

While we only visited together three or four times a year we became girlfriends.

Abbie passed away yesterday afternoon from an apparent massive heart attack. Ralph and I are going to miss our dear friend.

Bernadette Peters at The Eccles Center

Saw Bernadette Peters last night. What a fantastic show.  She looks wonderful and her voice is so beautiful.  Although, Bernadette, your rendition of Some Enchanted Evening did not exceed the beauty of my lovely daughter, Robin Palazzo Whitney ‘s voice singing  that song on the stage of Fairview Park High School in the late 1970’s.  If you have any doubts, just check with my colleague, Nancy and her husband David, who traveled across Cleveland to see Robin play the female lead in South Pacific.

But, Bernadette, you brought tears to my eyes when you sang one of my favs, Bring in the Clowns. And your closing song, Stella’s Song, dedicated to your own dog and all dogs in need of safe, loving homes, was so sweet and tender.  Thank you for a great performance and a lovely time.

I have to stop now for two reasons.  Robin is going to kill me for posting about her voice and because I lost my readers at The Eccles Center last night and had to borrow Ralph’s bifocals, which aren’t a perfect fit, to do this.

P.S.  Bernadette:  I bought your children’s book, Stella is a Star, and one of your autographed CD’s to help you in your good works with animal rescue.

I commend Teri Orr and everyone involved in the Park City Institute, including my daughter and son-in-law, for working so hard to bring this spectacular show to close the 2013 season.  Can’t wait to see what you do in 2014.

Happy New Year!

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Went to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy Christmas concert this evening.  What a delight to see men in suits and ties making that big band sound.  I loved it.

Robin and Jim took Whitney and Palazzo family members to this event.  Thanks kids for a wonderful evening.

This all male group is celebrating their 20th anniversary since starting at the Derby nightclub in Los Angeles. The group is led by its founder and lead singer, Scotty Morris.  But I can’t decide which I liked best: the cute little guy in the black suit and messenger cap playing the trumpet, Glen “The Kid” Marhevka or the sophisticated man in the gray suit and red printed socks sitting at the grand piano, Joshua Levy.  Well, what the heck.  I will just pick them both.

More Ham

This morning we got a full refund for the undelivered meat.

At 5:45 p.m. today, December 27, the door bell rang.  Boxes from Honey Baked Ham were on the door step and two UPS deliverymen were running down the driveway toward the UPS truck they had left in the road.  Were they in a great hurry or afraid 0f being beaten up in retaliation for the inconvenience. Who knows.

This turn of event has caused even more confusion.

Ralph asked why they delivered it since this morning we had canceled the order and gotten a refund.

We opened the boxes to determine the condition of the meat.  Yes, boxes. We had one 10 pound ham and two turkey breasts at 8 pounds each – three hunks of very cold but thawed meat.  What to do with them?

The directions said that in a refrigerator the ham would thaw in 24 to 48 hours and would remain fresh for 5 to 7 days.  It had been in the delivery truck since December 24, 5 days.  Did it still have a couple days of freshness left?  The thaw/freshness period for the turkey breasts was a little shorter.

Ralph and I and Sammy ate small pieces of the ham.   (On Xmas Eve Sammy got some scraps and droppings of the Feast of 7 Fishes and has now developed a taste for people food. When he realized that we had these boxes of people food he got all aflutter with excitement and smiles until Jim gave him a piece of ham.)  It tasted OK.

But Robin, the voice of caution, decided it was silly to risk becoming ill over questionable meat, even though we have 26 pounds of it.

Ralph agreed with her and admonished each of us to drink Coke as soon as possible because everyone knows Coke will kill anything.

So we stashed the meat, put on our coats and went out to eat.  We ordered coke as our beverages.

 

 

 

Christmas Eve Dinner

That morning we began preparing dinner for 19.  A Honey Baked Ham was being delivered by UPS.  In fact the tracker indicted it was in the truck and on its way.  Jim had paid a premium shipping charge to assure December 24 delivery.  All was well.

I was responsible for a special appetizer so made a run to the grocery for fresh seafood while Robin began making our favorite cheese cake with raspberry sauce and Whitney family pine nut casserole.  I was to make scalloped potatoes and Jim’s sister was bringing a salad.  Grace had already made Christmas cookies. When I got home from the grocery Robin was making a double batch of Porcuines – beef, rice and onions formed into nut sized meatballs cooked in tomato sauce – just because she was hungry for them.

Guests arrived at 4:00 p.m.  Ham still had not been delivered.  We were a little nervous but began our cocktail hours.  Grace acted as bartender and was making her special Apple Pie Ala Mode drink.  We also had the Whitney family traditional Tom and Jerry’s.

Appetizers were artichoke dip and a huge Feast of the 7 Fishes seafood platter consisting of 2 pounds of shrimp, 3 pounds of Alaska King Crab Legs, a pound of scallops, smoked salmon, crab cakes, oysters and lobster tails.  Feast of the 7 fishes was a tradition in my mother-in-laws family but we had never done it.  It was a winner and the guests were eating and drinking when my son-in-law’s brother told me there seemed to be a problem in the kitchen and I better go give them some advice.

Well, the Ham still had not arrived and we couldn’t hold off any longer.  Robin called the guests to the table and opened the meal with a toast, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and telling all the young people in attendance they never had to worry about a flub up.  They could drop the birthday cake on the floor, burn the roast or spill the punch because we had the ultimate flub up – the main course Honey Baked Ham failed to  arrive.

About 11:00 p.m. UPS sent an email saying the ham would be delivered on December 26.  It is now 3:14 p.m. on December 26 and it is still not here.

More family stories are created by flubs than successes and we have been assured this will never be forgotten.  In fact Jim’s sister texted him from her car on the way home that she just the UPS truck on the highway headed in our direction.

We had a wonderful time and in case you are interested, porcupines are a fine substitute for ham.

Wishing all you readers a wonder holiday.

 

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